I’ve come to think of forgiveness as a one-way street. Yes, it’s nice when you can have a conversation with somebody who wronged you and talk it all through. But sometimes that person is no longer alive, or is not in your life, or is not sorry for what they did.
You can still forgive. Because forgiveness is not about them. It is about you.
It is about you taking control of your life and continuing to move on. It is about you making peace with the past. It is about you living in the present and not in the past.
At night, before saying the shema, we utter these words: “I forgive anybody who angered, provoked or wronged me.” Pretty incredible because those to whom you are offering forgiveness are not there.
Do yourself a favor. Find a way to forgive those you are still holding a grudge against. For your sake, not theirs.